The Devastating Loss That Opened My Eyes
Did you know that September is National Suicide Prevention Month?
[Content Warning: Suicide. Depression.]
Two year ago, I lost a family friend to suicide. I couldn’t travel to her funeral because that part of Asia was still closed to the world. And I couldn’t stop thinking about what I could have done to save her. The grief was overwhelming that I could not sleep for an entire week. I ended up sharing on LinkedIn that I wasn’t ok and to remind everyone that it’s ok to not be ok. It was the first time I shared something so personal on the platform. While I 've fielded questions about mental health support in the workplace, this personal tragedy made me realize how much more we needed to do.
The statistics are staggering: Nearly one billion people worldwide experience some mental health condition, and rates of depression and anxiety spiked over 25% in the pandemic's first year alone. These aren't just numbers—they represent human suffering on a massive scale.
As managers and leaders, we have the power to drive real change. It doesn’t have to be daunting. Here's how we can start:
Normalize Mental Health Discussions
Too often, mental illness is shrouded in stigma and silence within our organizations. We can begin to shift this culture by openly discussing our own emotional challenges. Are you feeling anxious about an upcoming deadline? Be transparent. Continually treat physical and mental health as equals when managing your team.
Directly challenge stigmatizing language like "crazy" and educate yourself and others on mental health topics. Your words matter in destigmatizing this crucial issue.
Familiarize Yourself with Resources
Seeking help can feel daunting for employees struggling with depression or anxiety symptoms. Understanding your company's leave policies and resources such as EAP, as well as keeping critical numbers on hand can be life-saving. Perhaps more importantly, you can create an environment where team members and colleagues feel safe opening up about challenges.
I had a simple practice for my team: Twice weekly, I’d ask my team to rate how they were doing on a 1-10 scale, then follow up on what's driving that number. Over time, this not only gave me a quick way to know how everyone was doing but also normalizes discussions around stress factors both in and outside of work.
Seek to Understand and Support Different Groups
People of color face significant barriers to mental health care due to racism, language hurdles, and cultural stigma. For the Asian American/Pacific Islander community, the insidious "model minority myth" can breed unrealistic expectations of perfection. For Black adults, emotional distress is more prevalent, yet only 1 in 3 receives treatment. As managers, we can practice listening actively without judgment and proactively learn about cultural differences.
Prevent Burnout (It's Not Depression)
While burnout isn't a clinical mental health condition, it's a serious issue that demands our attention. Warning signs include exhaustion, alienation from work, and declining performance. Take steps to encourage time off, role model taking breaks, and realistically manage workloads and expectations can all help.
Crucially, understand that burnout improves with changes like vacation, while clinical depression persists regardless of circumstance changes.
The ROI of Mental Health Support
According to the WHO, every dollar invested in mental health treatment yields a $4 return. But beyond financials, focusing on our people's wellbeing is fundamentally the right thing to do. My loss opened my eyes to how much workplace mental health support is needed. As leaders, we can drive this change through compassion and concrete action.
That's why I'm on a mission to equip leaders with practical strategies for improving employee wellbeing. Pre-order for my forthcoming book is now available: https://a.co/d/14ZhHPR
But the work starts now. You can support each other by openly checking in on the well-being of your colleagues, direct reports, and mentors. Simple check-ins can show that you care. Remember: Just because someone carries it well doesn’t mean it’s not heavy.
If there is anything good that came out of the pandemic is that it became less of a stigma to talk about mental health at work. I certainly hope that is not on its way back to pre pandemic levels.
Having lost family members and friends to suicide I know more about the signs to look for now but also accept that I can't control what's out of my control, but continue to check in with people from time to time.